My Endo Diary

The last year and half has been a rollercoaster to say the least. Both physically and mentally. For the majority of it, I went through each day thinking I was going mad. That the pain must have been all in my head because every single test that I had done came back clear.  The only obvious result I felt was I getting was that I was going insane. Confusion was an understatement and even to this day there is still a lot of it around. Confusion from doctors not knowing what was causing the pain, ignorance from other doctors not believing I actually did have pain, confusion from test results, from wrong diagnosis and from myself. Just not knowing what to do for the best. Who to go to next for help. Trying to convince myself that what I was experiencing wasn’t ‘normal.’ That I didn’t just have to put up with it. So I spent endless time googling symptoms (…bad idea). Although I still do it now - I cant seem to stop myself! I think I may have a slight addiction.. Free Advice: Trying to ...

So, it's been a week and half after my second Prostap injection (similar to lupron/zoladex) and I feel (dare I say it...??) FINE! :) Great actually.. Someone asked me this week how I was feeling and I answered 'happy'..I had to double check it was me who wrote it! I even caught myself singing on the weekend! ;) Wow! It's honestly been the best I've felt in over a year! I was umming and ahhing whether to write this blog or not because I didn't want to 'jinx' myself and set myself up for a fail. But I come to the conclusion that it's definitely something to blog about, a cause for celebration! Don't get me wrong, I still at times feel awful. Mind of a 23 year old, body of an 80 year old with all my aches, and I still get days when I can't even bring myself to get out of bed. Other times i'm wide awake til stupid o'clock in the morning, only to sleep a few hours then BANG! Wide awake again. I still need to take painkillers, have backach...

As I was blasting the music out of my headphones this week, this one song in particular really stood out.. 'Alicia Keys - Superwoman' . The words all the way through the song are spot on and can mean so much to so many different people. But I thought how true these words in particular were for us endosisters dealing with endometriosis on a daily basis... "...Even when I'm a mess, I still put on a vest With an S on my chest Oh yes, I'm a Superwoman..." But somedays, we just have to. No matter how much pain we may be in that day, no matter how emotional or all over the place we are feeling, or just plain exhausted. We just have to carry on and get through the day the best we can. Whether its because we have to work, go to school, college, do the weekly shop, look after children, housework - anything. Even the smallest of things can be a huge mountain to climb at times. But I just wanted to let every woman who may be reading this know that we are s...

This week was the first week in over a year that I started to feel myself again. Dont get me wrong, I've still had down days and im sure there's more to come, but recently they've been just days or sometimes just hours, not weeks. Started back to work on monday, granted I havent done much there yet but im easing myself in. What i've been finding though is because I work 5pm - 10pm, by half past seven/eight o'clock im exhausted! Been struggling to keep my eyes open and thats not good when working in a call centre! The 'PING' noise when we get the next call through should wake me up though! Then when im home im wide awake and cant sleep! The proper work will start next week so will have to see how I go. Wish It was a job that I loved, then it would make it so much easier going to work and try to cope.. Boses have been asking me what am I going to be like next week? How will I cope? What will I do if im not well on a call? Honest answer...I can't tell you....