My Endo Diary

Ok, so I thought I should update you all after my operation on Tuesday.  I have a lot of mixed emotions after the laparoscopy though and I promise to fill you all in soon. I'm sure many of you have felt the same way I'm feeling now so I will post in the near future about all the details. Sharing information is the best way to know we're not alone in this. But for the moment, I'm just getting my head around things and concentrating on recovery. UPDATED: Endometriosis was found in my ovaries as expected and removed. It was also found on my bowel, but it was left untreated. #MyEndoDiary ♡

It's the night before the big day. Six hours to go and I'll be checking into the hospital ready for my third operation. For the last 24 hours I have been quite calm on the outside. Inside I've been having butterflies and my heart has been beating ten to the dozen! Now that it's bed time I'm wide awake with very little chance of sleep. My overnight bag is packed just incase I have stay. I have everything ready and in place for me to come home. I'm hoping I'll be one of the first on the list to go down to theatre. Hanging about and waiting will not do me any good! I'll end up even more stressed and my mind will be up doing overtime. I will be worrying and observing every little detail going on around me. I'm dreading everything about it. I can't even begin to think about the recovery yet. But I know it's something we have to go through in order to get some relief from the devil that is endometriosis. And to be honest with you, there's no...

Christmas 2009 is when my life changed. I had always suffered extremely heavy and painful periods. But to me that was normal. I didn't realise then that was a symptom. I was able to manage it. Whether it was wearing two pads, scouring chemists or supermarkets for period pain relief, heat pads, painkillers, holisitc bracelets, taking days off school or spending days in bed. That was my normal. But Christmas 2009 is when more symptoms started coming. Nothing I could put my finger on exactly at the time. I just I knew I didn't feel right. Especially my emotional health. I was so down. With hindsight it must of been changes of my hormone levels as hormones play such a big part in Endometriosis. Looking back, I now know that was the start of the flare. February 2010, I started having stabbing pains in my stomach. I remember the 1st ever time it happened. I was doing normal things. I was actually walking across my landing to get to my bedroom. The pains shot across through my stoma...

August 25th. This will be the date of my next operation. My third. I have waited 12 months to get this date. Then, out of the blue, I receive a letter from the hospital. With only 12 days notice. In a way, that's good. Less time to stress. But for me, I'll stress no matter what. I'll just cram a year of waiting into 12 days of worry. I'm now down to 7 days. This time next week... Some people may think that knowing what will happen and how the day pans out etc, will be a benefit. A comfort perhaps. For me, it's the complete opposite. I know how emotional I will get. I know the feelings of panic, anxiousness and nervousness will build up. I know at certain points they'll peak and I'll break down. Just before I'm due to go down to theatre I'm guaranteed to start crying. The fear takes over and there's nothing I can do at that point but just trust the doctors and nurses. But that's normal I guess. Third time around, it will not be any ...

I know I won't be alone in these thoughts on this subject.. Endometriosis and a new relationship..  What do you tell them? How much do you tell them? When do you bring it up?  A million questions have been overloading my mind lately as I start a new chapter in my life. The last few weeks have been a bit of a whirlwind for me. A good one! But, fast moving, exciting and terrifying all at once. The scariest part of it all is how endometriosis will impact everything. Right now, it is behaving. But we all know how quickly that changes. I don't want my life revolving around Endo. It has taken over way too much of it already! Now, I have started enjoying my life again, I'm terrified it will be snatched away to pain once again. I have shared The Spoon Theory with my new boyfriend, who was extremely understanding about it. Which actually made me feel so much at ease. I have explained a few of the symptoms. He knows I get 'bad days' and that i'll need rest ...

How do you go from feeling like for the first time (in a long time) you're actually living your life and having a great day with friends and family, enjoying life and generally having fun... to less than a week later (or even a day!) being curled back up in bed crying with the pain, praying the stronger meds will kick in? At one moment you get hope, clarity and life, with a big sense of normality. The next minute, you're faced with pain, upset and darkness, with no sense of it ever being normal again. Why does life with endometriosis have to go from one extreme to the other?  I've been thinking of how we react and cope during such low times. The lows can definitely become more prominent than the highs. Or is it because when in those situations, we focus all our attention on the rare high days? Which makes us feel more lost than usual and back at square one when they are quickly snatched away.  How do you mentally find a balance when there is no way of controlling w...

I recently found myself in a situation that really made me think. I pointed this out to my Mother, who was with me at the time and since then it has played on both of our minds. Here's the scenario... I had received free tickets from a television audience company to attend a recording of a new Sky TV talent show. Whilst waiting in the foyer, members of the audience brought chairs out from the nearby bar themselves, to sit down. Quite quickly, the audience manager approached everyone to advise it was a standing only event and the chairs would have to be removed. Which I had no problem with. Over the other side of the room from me, a woman was on crutches. The members of staff explained again to that side, that it was standing only. The woman on crutches was allowed to keep her chair. Now, I have no issues with a woman on crutches being allowed to sit down. My point is that I have a chronic illness. Standing for any period of time leaves me in pain. My...

Endometriosis is just one word. Made up of thirteen little letters. But to explain the impact it has on a woman's life would take hell of a lot more! When you are suffering from a chronic illness like this, there will be days where you see no light at the end of the tunnel. Only last night I was asking my Mother 'when will I be getting some relief?' It can be constant. Exhausting even. But no matter how hard things get, or how many times we are brought down to our knees. We do not give up. We get back up. We fight. Endometriosis is such a cruel illness. But I'm telling you this... It hasn't seen the last of me. I will keep fighting. I will keep on raising awareness. And I will always be an advocate for all who suffer from this. It will not win. Endometriosis may knock us down... But we will always get back up. We are survivors. #MyEndoDiary

One year ago today, the first ever March for Endometriosis was held in capital cities across the World. I am so grateful to have been a part of it in the UK. In two weeks time, my Mother and I will be going back to London to take part again. Meeting up with other endo sufferers and their families. Bring it on!  We will be marching through the streets of London, united in utter determination to raise as much awareness for this awful disease as we can!  The more awareness we can help raise for #Endometriosis, the better!  Here is a photo of the Endo March in 2014.  It was an amazing day. I'm hoping at this year's March we will be even bigger and louder! Our voices deserve to be heard. #MyEndoDiary 

The online support this year for endometriosis awareness month has been incredible. We are only one week into the month and I have been overwhelmed with the awareness raised so far. So many women have gone 'yellow for endo'. This is a fantastic campaign that has made my twitter timeline come to life. I love seeing all the yellow profile pics appearing daily! I have also been taking part in the #endophotochallenge made by EndoHappy. Everyday you post a fact about your endometriosis. This is a wonderful and well thought out campaign that provides a necessary insight to our lives with endo. It's still not too late to join in if you haven't done so yet! On Facebook, I have been posting awareness posts and pictures. This year I have had an amazing response to my posts. The amount of likes and comments I have had really surprised me. Friends and family have been sharing my status's and people who I rarely talk to on there have contacted me and shown their support. Thi...

I have been selected as one of the top 8 Endometriosis information sites and given the 'Endometriosis Awareness Blog Award 2015' by a panel of HealthExpress experts. To say I am overjoyed is an understatement!   This is what they had to say about my blog:   I have been listed alongside Endometriosis UK, SHE Trust UK, Endometriosis Foundation of America and Endometriosis Australia, plus others. These organisations do so much to raise the profile of Endometriosis and support sufferers and their families. Having my little blog included with them for the award means the world to me! All I have ever wanted to do with my blog is to share my experiences as truthfully as I can, so other ladies know they are not alone. Receiving this recognition spurs me on to keep posting, blogging, talking, tweeting and raising awareness. To know that my blog has been even a little help to those on their own endo journey makes me feel so honoured. A massive thanks to HealthE...

Today is the start of Endometriosis Awareness Month. So much more awareness is needed for this invisible illness that I suffer from along with 1 in 10 women! The same amount of women suffer from asthma and diabetes yet so many people have never heard of Endo! It's ridiculous in 2015 we still have to fight for doctors to listen to us, fight for treatment & support. And there is still NO cure! I've met so many lovely ladies with endo that suffer unnecessarily, who also support me daily. I personally think it's about time this changed! Please join me & help raise awareness for Endometriosis 💛 #MyEndoDiary

Endometriosis awareness month is fast approaching! Endometriosis UK are focusing their awareness campaign between the 2nd - 9th March. For March, I have made an awareness profile picture. If any endosisters would like me to edit one for them, just send your photo to my twitter account @my_endo_diary and I will be more than happy to do it for you. Here is mine... And this will be my mother's... We will be uploading them as our profile pictures from the 1st of March for the whole month. The more awareness we can all raise, the better!! #MyEndoDiary