Skip to main content

Endometriosis: What I Want

Preparing for a bad day with endometriosis and expecting the unexpected is becoming a chore.

I want to feel normal.

I want to go a whole day without taking any painkillers. I want to get through a day without my hot water bottle or electric heat pad. I want to be able to say yes to plans, months, weeks or even just days ahead. I want to be able to go out and not come home early because the pain has crept out of nowhere or it has become to hard to manage. I want to be able to stand for long periods of time without getting crippling back and leg pain. I want to have a normal stomach, not one that swells and makes me look 5 months pregnant. I want to know what it feels like to go a day without a stabbing pain that comes out of the blue and leaves you curled over, holding onto something to steady yourself. I want to have a period that doesn't leave me bed bound for a week. I want to carry out the simplest of tasks like getting out of bed or going in the shower, without feeling that it's a massive struggle. I want to be able to do things today and still be able to do things tomorrow! Not end up in too much pain because today I went for a walk or cleaned the house. I want to be free of consequences. I want to know that I will definitely be able to have children in the future. When asked how I am feeling, I want to respond that I'm fine and actually mean it. I want to accomplish so much in my life without endo stopping me or changing my path for me without my consent.

Some people may read all my 'wants' and think I'm being selfish or needy. But to someone who suffers from endometriosis or chronic pain they will see it as me asking for one thing only... a cure for endo. Every single thing I listed is what a 'normal healthy' person would take for granted. I'm not asking for the world...

I just want to feel normal.
#MyEndoDiary

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Endometriosis: Post op

Ok, so I thought I should update you all after my operation on Tuesday.  I have a lot of mixed emotions after the laparoscopy though and I promise to fill you all in soon. I'm sure many of you have felt the same way I'm feeling now so I will post in the near future about all the details. Sharing information is the best way to know we're not alone in this. But for the moment, I'm just getting my head around things and concentrating on recovery. UPDATED: Endometriosis was found in my ovaries as expected and removed. It was also found on my bowel, but it was left untreated. #MyEndoDiary ♡

A Day In The Life Of An Endo Girl - 16/04/13

Seeing as I've named my Blog 'My Endo Diary' I've decided to start this project, 'A Day In The Life Of An Endo Girl' to portray just a snippet of a day with Endometriosis. Women with Endo are not lazy. Some, such as myself suffer daily pain. Chronic pain. Sometimes mild, sometimes exhausting, sometimes severe. Small things hurt massively. What some people take for granted doing, can take all of my energy. Even down to doing the dishes or making food. Endo is unpredictable. Tomorrow may be a better day. It may be worse. If I look or sound OK one day it doesn't mean I'm better. I'm either hiding the pain from you (I've become quite good at this), having an 'up and down day' (explained below) or on the rare chance having a good day. Every day with Endo for me, is different. However at the moment, they all contain some sort of pain. So here's my first entry. 16/04/13                   5:45am Woken up by E...

Endometriosis And New Beginnings

I know I won't be alone in these thoughts on this subject.. Endometriosis and a new relationship..  What do you tell them? How much do you tell them? When do you bring it up?  A million questions have been overloading my mind lately as I start a new chapter in my life. The last few weeks have been a bit of a whirlwind for me. A good one! But, fast moving, exciting and terrifying all at once. The scariest part of it all is how endometriosis will impact everything. Right now, it is behaving. But we all know how quickly that changes. I don't want my life revolving around Endo. It has taken over way too much of it already! Now, I have started enjoying my life again, I'm terrified it will be snatched away to pain once again. I have shared The Spoon Theory with my new boyfriend, who was extremely understanding about it. Which actually made me feel so much at ease. I have explained a few of the symptoms. He knows I get 'bad days' and that i'll need rest ...