My Endo Diary

What is the definition of an Endosister? For those of us who have Endometriosis, this simple word can mean so much. For those who don't have Endo, it may make no sense at all. I tried to search for a definition but I couldn't find anything to describe it properly. So I thought who better to ask than endosisters themselves? Below are the most popular words and phrases I had sent to me via Twitter. The overall message I took from this was how united and supportive we are as a community. To all my Endosisters, this is how other women view you: brave, beautiful, determined and more than anything else a friend. You don't have to see an Endosister to know they are there... "Silent survivors." @StacyP_21 "A powerfully silent understanding, life saving, light in the dark, a bond tainted with sadness but sparkling with hope...part of something special as a result of something horrible." @RetroQuenie "A global sisterhood of women with...

I'd been feeling a bit rough all day. And tired. Extremely tired. I hadn't slept properly for the last couple of weeks. Not falling asleep until 6:30am was bound to take its toll at some point, I suppose. I had to give my mother a lift, only 5 mins down the road. Before I left, as I got to the front door, I had a bit of a funny turn. My legs felt like they were going to give way. I had such a bad pain in my left ovary and my head was pounding. I took my mother out, drove back up the road, parked up outside my house and literally cried my eyes out. I couldn't move, it felt like I couldn't breathe. I just sat there and cried and cried, sobbing. So fed up & so so frustrated of being stuck in this rut they call Endometriosis.  #MyEndoDiary

So, I'm into my third month of my medical menopause & Prostap. (You can read how Month 1 went by  clicking here .)  How am I feeling? Pain free? Not quite.  Better? Well, yes a little bit.. I personally think I have both Endometriosis cysts and adhesions again. Some of the pain has been stopped by Prostap shutting down my ovaries, but not all of it. The remaining pain I'm assuming is adhesions.  The side effects of Prostap have calmed down slightly. Don't get me wrong, they can still be quite annoying and some days they cause more bad than good! But, I haven't been at the point lately where I'd want to strip off and go sit in a freezer to stop the hot flushes!! By the way, I've never done that. But I have been very very close!! ;) I'm not crying everyday because of the pain. I'm not stuck in bed. Dizziness and headaches have seemed to stay with me throughout these last two months though. I have also found myself becoming quite nauseous at t...

Judgements happen within a blink of an eye. Within a moments passing, a thought, an opinion, is conjured up. Unfortunately for Endosisters, they happen more often than not. The most popular judgement we hear... "but you don't look sick". Don't be someone who makes that judgement. Behind every smile  is a girl who has at one point been broken inside by Endometriosis. It breaks us physically and emotionally. The lengths we have to go to in order to survive some days is unreal. Just to put on a smile and carry on can be one of the hardest tasks. You may not see our scars. You may not see our pain. But trust me when I say you would never want to. Living with this chronic illness can at times be crippling. So, I may not look sick on the outside, as I pass you with a smile. But if you could see what my insides were doing to my own body, you'd soon change your mind. #MyEndoDiary

I sat in my room in complete darkness. Tears rolling down my face. I closed my eyes whilst wishing for things to get better. To feel better. Praying to be ok. To feel ok. I opened my eyes. Nothing had changed... I still have Endometriosis. And at the moment, Endometriosis has me.                                                                #MyEndoDiary

Endometriosis is so challenging! 26 & this will be my 2nd time of going through the Menopause with Prostap! Great! I thought it would be useful to document my time and experiences on it. My first course was two years ago when I stayed on it for 6 months. This time it's been suggested to start on a 3 month course and then it will be reviewed. The overall aim to find out if it is Endo or adhesion's that are causing all my pains. **Please remember these are my own experiences. It may be totally different for someone else. As with Endo, I'm sure you know by now, what works for one person may not for another** Prostap is a hormone medicine that prevents certain hormones from producing. Therefore, it puts women into a medical menopause as it will temporarily shut down your ovaries. Its active ingredient is Leuprorelin Acetate . Similar drugs to Prostap that work in the exactly same way are Zoladex and Lupron. Side effects may vary. My Prostap Diary: Month 1 ...

Earlier this week I read a post called 'The Emotional Causes of Endometriosis'. To say I was a bit shocked at the content would be an understatement. The author of this blog, Elle Griffin, says she is a Natural Fertility Expert and Feminine Vitality Coach... In the introduction of this post, she states "you are not the cause of your hormone imbalance and thus have no reason to blame your body for your endometriosis." However, what comes next is the complete opposite.  The 'theory' that is put forward, is that having Endometriosis is our bodies way of sending us a message, warning us of our self inflicted turmoil, which in turn, is causing all our pain. That if we allow our minds to be in conflict with our heart, we are ultimately bringing on this awful and sometimes cruel disease ourselves. If we just listen to our bodies messages, then we will heal ourselves and cure our endo. Wow! Just wow! Forget the tablets, forget the endless doctors appointments, mult...